FADE IN:
INT. DARK ROOM - NIGHT
KEVIN, 22, stands under a pillar of light, encompassed by
darkness.
Dressed in a fine suit, he holds a script in his hands.
KEVIN
Life would be so much easier if there
was a script to run lines with. If
we always knew what was happening
and why, simply by thumbing through
the pages.
Kevin opens to the first page.
KEVIN (CONT'D)
Unfortunately we are not offered
such a luxury, and are forced to
improvise our lives. All the choices
we make all the plans we make all
the events we experience are all
improvised.
Kevin exposes the pages of the text and they are all blank.
EXT. PARK - DAY
After a smile the blackness fades up into a beautiful green
park in the days just before summer.
JUSTIN, 21, and dressed just as nice, taps Kevin on the
shoulder.
JUSTIN
Did you tell them about the script?
KEVIN
I think they got the message. It
was in the description lines.
JUSTIN
Cool.
KEVIN
We are The Unscriptables.
JUSTIN
I thought of the name.
KEVIN
Yes you did. Justin and I work for
a small family improv show, in the
Silicon Valley, called ComedySportz.
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2.
JUSTIN
And Paramount's Great America.
KEVIN
That's our day job.
JUSTIN
And we attend San Jose State.
KEVIN
OK. Why don't we just post a page,
with our resume and favorite pets?
Would that be stupid enough for you?
JUSTIN
I thought we were going to have our
resumes on our site.
KEVIN
We are. But if you don't shut up no
one is going to read past the personal
gobblty gook.
JUSTIN
Well, you wrote all of this, couldn't
you think of something more creative?
KEVIN
Stop trying to introduce conflict
into our scene.
A Frisbee tossed by a near by PARK PATRON smacks Kevin in
the head. Justin erupts into laughter.
JUSTIN
Now that's funny.
KEVIN
Sure was. Now why don't you finish
welcoming our guests?
JUSTIN
If you'd like to know more about The
Unscriptables core beliefs, click on
the appropriate links.
KEVIN
But that's true for anything.
JUSTIN
We are going to put buttons on the
page to make for easier browsing,
right?
KEVIN
No, I was thinking we would just e-
mail the links to them, via snail
mail.
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3.
JUSTIN
That's a stupid idea.
KEVIN
You're a stupid idea.
JUSTIN
Funny.
Another Frisbee hits Kevin in the head.
JUSTIN (CONT'D)
Funnier!
KEVIN
Yes. Well, if you're interested in
the hybridization of types theory,
it's a great study on the comedic
potential of stereo types.
JUSTIN
And a great way to develop characters.
KEVIN
For improvisational purposes, yeah.
JUSTIN
Can we go somewhere else?
KEVIN
Sure.
EXT. BEACH DAY
The water laps the sandy floor, as the sunsets into the ocean.
KEVIN
Better?
JUSTIN
What are we taking a long walk on
the beach together?
KEVIN
No. I just thought it was nice?
JUSTIN
Are you going to start listening
your turn ons?
KEVIN
No!
JUSTIN
Kevin, if you wanted to make a
personal adds page you didn't need
my help.
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4.
KEVIN
This isn't a personal ads page!
Fine, we'll go somewhere else.
INT. JUSTIN'S HOUSE DAY
The computer hums, while NATALIE, 20, types away, with two
fingers.
JUSTIN
That was close. I was afraid you
were going to ask me about personal
hygiene.
KEVIN
Gross.
JUSTIN
Hey wait, where are we now?
KEVIN
Your house.
NATALIE
Would you guys like some cookies?
Yum yum.
KEVIN
I'll take some.
JUSTIN
We have the power of script, to go
anywhere, and you choose to take us
to my house.
NATALIE
I think it's rather ironic that on a
page labeled Unscriptables you use a
screenplay format as the driving
gimmick behind your message.
JUSTIN
Yeah. Doesn't that make us
Scriptable? Hardly Unscriptable if
it's already written in a script.
KEVIN
Great, it's two on one.
JUSTIN
You talk to him while I go register
the domain name; Scriptable.com.
NATALIE
You want some taco salad.
KEVIN
Give me a second!
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5.
EXT. ANCIENT GREECE COURT YARD - DAY
Kevin stands, wearing a toga, holding a stone tablet. Justin
and Natalie stare at a beautiful fountain.
KEVIN
See? In this medium we can go
anywhere.
NATALIE
But it's still scripted.
KEVIN
Yes, yes. But that is only the format
for our message. It's clever. We're
thinking outside the box here, as
free thinkers!
JUSTIN
And free laborers. No one is going
to pay for this script.
KEVIN
I don't expect anyone too.
NATALIE
Are you going to shoot it yourself?
KEVIN
No. That's not the point.
NATALIE
Isn't the point of a script to be
shot?
KEVIN
This is a spec script.
JUSTIN
Spec script? So you do want someone
to buy it, and write in the scene
numbers?
KEVIN
No! If someone did try to shoot
this, it would loose all of its magic.
This is novelty idea.
NATALIE
Oh look, gyros.
Natalie gallops to an ANCIENT GREECE FAMILY, enjoying a buffet
of gyros.
KEVIN
See? In what other medium would
little description and heavy dialogue
be acceptable?
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6.
NATALIE
These are some good gyros.
JUSTIN
Yeah, no processed food.
KEVIN
It was probably part of the cow,
less than an hour ago. Eat fast
before the mad-cow disease sets in.
Justin and Natalie spit.
JUSTIN
Did you have to go there?
KEVIN
You're still not convinced?
JUSTIN
No. You can take us to any stupid
location.
NATALIE
Feed us poison.
JUSTIN
Play little games with the
description, but other than that,
why is this better than just reading
a book? Why not just slap on tons
of text, and pretty pictures like
every other website in cyber space?
Does ours have to be the house of
novelty? Can't we just be normal?
Find the amazing in the simplistic.
I like simple things like watching
videos and playing computer games
till one in the morning. Those sorts
of ideals should be reflected in our
web page.
KEVIN
No one read that.
JUSTIN
Excuse me?
KEVIN
People, especially while web browsing
hate to read "tons of text."
NATALIE
I know I do. I only skim.
KEVIN
So we keep the dialog light and airy.
That means no rambling.
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7.
NATALIE
Amen.
JUSTIN
Pick your sides carefully, missy.
KEVIN
That will keep the readers interested.
NATALIE
I still say you guys shouldn't have
a script on Unscriptables dot com.
I thought the idea was to show off
your improv skills.
KEVIN
Well, yes. This collection of scenes
is sort of a diagram of the sort of
things improv is capable of.
JUSTIN
Because we can transition anywhere?
KEVIN
Or face anything.
Suddenly from out of a white pillared building bursts a great
green DRAGON, with ruby red eyes.
JUSTIN
Nice touch.
NATALIE
Don't let it touch me!
KEVIN
Consider it done.
Kevin bends at the knees and leaps onto the dragon's back.
NATALIE
Lets just "transition" out of here!
DRAGON
That's not as dramatic. You must
stay and fight me, otherwise the
audience feels cheated.
NATALIE
Too bad, audience.
INT. KRISPY KREME DAY
Natalie stands in front of Justin and Kevin, in line for the
coveted doughnuts.
NATALIE
Hmmm. Krispy Kreme.
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8.
KEVIN
I was about to bash that thing.
JUSTIN
Natalie, you don't quite understand
drama, do you?
NATALIE
Shut up. I'm eating Krispy Kreme.
It's about time we used this "medium"
to our advantage. I mean really.
Natalie reaches up to take the box of doughnuts.
DRAGON
I agree.
NATALIE
Oh, you had to be on their side.
KEVIN
I'll get a bow-and-arrow.
JUSTIN
I'll get the fire extinguisher.
That should shut him up.
Justin and Kevin break, leaving Natalie standing in line.
The Dragon lets loose a ball of fire, which smokes the box.
NATALIE
Oh, no you didn't!
Natalie grabs the Dragon by the snout, as it yelps in pain
and she slams it's face onto the counter, knocking him out.
Justin and Kevin return, astonished by Natalie's work.
NATALIE (CONT'D)
No one messes with ma Krispy Kreme.
She reaches behind the counter and collects a perfect
doughnut.
KEVIN
Now do you understand the power of
the written script?
JUSTIN
I like the part about the dragon.
NATALIE
I like the part about the Krispy
Kreme.
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9.
EXT. MOUNTAIN TOP DAY
The trio stands with backpacks, looking out over a huge city,
and a sunrise.
KEVIN
And that's just the beginning.
NATALIE
Hey, where's my doughnut!
KEVIN
Our imaginations fill in the gaps
better than
KEVIN (CONT'D)
Any camera ever could.
JUSTIN
I'm OK with it.
NATALIE
I'm not.
JUSTIN
As long as you stop taking us to
these prissy mountaintops and beaches.
NATALIE
And you bring back my Krispy Kreme.
DRAGON (O.S.)
And you don't make me the villain.
KEVIN
Easily done.
INT. DARK ROOM NIGHT
Same black set as before, with a pillar of light splashing
on Kevin. Alone.
KEVIN
We, The Unscriptables welcome you
our home page. I hope you find our
ideas and novelties entertaining and
educational. Don't hesitate to click
all the links, send email, and view
our resumes.
JUSTIN (V.O.)
Thanks for stopping by.
FADE OUT:
END